If you are to ask yourself what is the difference in a person who is really happy and person who isn’t what would your answer be? How do we know that we are any happier or less happy than the generation before us? What is this thing called happiness? One fact is for sure that when you are happy you don’t sit around try to find reasons why you are! You are simply caught up in that state of being! To understand happiness and how elusive it is I think we have to turn away from it and begin to understand what is human misery. When are we most miserable in our lives? Well I’m a human being and when I’m most miserable or unhappy it’s because I cannot get along with people in my life the way I want to and need to. Those key people are my wife and children close friends. It seems however i am able to stay happier with my friends more so than with my wife and children, for some reason my friends are easier to get along with. Maybe this is because they don’t live with me and have to put up with all my faults. But there’s also something else going on. And I wonder if anyone notices!
When you look at a human being there are two movements going on. One is a movement that is brain-based and the other is a movement that is mind based. The source of human misery is linked to conflict in our lives. And I believe that this conflict in our life is directly related to the activity of our brain. When we are unhappy is because there is a conflict going on inside of us and we have harmed or someone else has harmed a relationship that we or they find very valuable. They harm that relationship by choosing to behave in such a way, that disconnects people from each other for all kinds of “reasons”. One of the most ridiculous things we do in our life and it happens everywhere is whenever there’s a crisis or something drastic or even something good happens to a person, we take this mystical approach that “things happen for a reason”. What the hell does that mean? Of course everything happens for reasons, known or unknown but that’s not the point. When we harm a human relationship it is because we are practicing the brain psychology of external control. This external controlled psychology is the downfall, the fallen state, the poison that is the source of our psychological pain. You and I have been so deeply conditioned by external psychology that we are unaware that we practice it, strengthen it, and it cripples us.
All the past generations have blamed the previous generation for all the mistakes they have made that are causing the present generation their problems. We do not see that 5000 years ago human beings psychologically suffered from the same problems that people today suffer with. The common denominator between human beings 5000 year ago and human beings today is the way we suffer psychologically. If you look in your life you have the greatest difficulty getting along with the people in your life the way you want to and need to. When you’re able to do that you’re pretty happy, but when you’re not your life falls apart you lose all sense of meaning and purpose. This is the power of human relationship because we are gregarious creatures we want to hang around other people and celebrate life with them. We can’t seem to do this as a nation nor could we do it as a tribe. They were always tribes fighting other tribes like other nations fighting other nations. Each person regardless of which generation had a psyche that was ruled by fear, greed, inadequacy, loneliness, insecurity, jealousy, envy, and so many other emotional states. These emotional states are all the products of thought. When thought is worried about the future it’s in a state of fear. That fear breeds greed that greed breeds insufficiency or inadequacy that feeds our psychological insecurity and then we become aggressive or depressed. If you become aggressive that leads to greater social problems. If you become depressed that leads to a different set of problems. Depression is the emotional state, where people will engage a depressed person to see if they can help. But the aggressive or violent emotional state disconnects people further, because all people are generally afraid of angry aggressive people. But what’s really important to remember is that all these emotional states are created by the process of thinking which is a movement in the brain. This brain has been conditioned by external control psychology and is thousands of years old. We are actually living with a very old brain that is dominated by thinking.
The other part of a human being is the process called mind! When we are in our right mind we are practicing a different psychology. This psychology is the psychology of relationship, intelligence, compassion, love. The difficulty is is you just can’t get into this psychology or into your right mind through any action of thinking. It takes a very different approach to create the environment for mind to act. The brain with the use of thinking creates all kinds of illusions about oneself and everything around oneself. It is the master of illusion and the Eastern world calls it the ego mind, but it’s not part of mind. We have been conditioned from childhood to give thinking and that movement of the brain tremendous importance. Giving thinking the importance we do we have created identity with the thinking process and most people think they are their thoughts. But you are not your thoughts you are much deeper than your thoughts. I want to use a metaphor to bring this out. Your brain is nothing more than a bundle of memories, some connected and some not as connected. Imagine an ocean and the content of the ocean is the water and energy passing through the water creates waves. That is what your brain is like! The memory cells are a material process and energy passing through the content of memory cells creates thoughts. Most of us can steer our thoughts in many directions. But if you are unhappy because of a broken relationship or relationships your thoughts are in chaos and you can’t stop yourself from thinking in any direction. This doesn’t mean you have a mental disorder, like the pharmaceutical industry wants you to think! Because when you are happy and getting and giving the love you need from the people you need it from your thinking is not as hard on you.
So the question then becomes is there on an alternative! I believe there is but first we have to understand the state we are in or more important the prison that were in the prison of the brain. The important part of this is to break all allusions about oneself, and understand the process of what external psychology is an dismantlement through that understanding. This I will talk about in the next writing.